Thursday, June 4, 2015

Boy Wonder Is One!!

We love him with every ounce of our being.  I try to love him just a little bit more than an Aunt should because I know my mother would want me to.  It's not hard, he is an absolute joy....I don't call him Boy Wonder for nothing.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

I'm Movin' On

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame
Trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but its time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home
Would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin on
I'm movin on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know theres no guarantees but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyones life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

"When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along."

I'm not the same person I was before...before when I was overweight and always self conscious.  Weight loss is a huge mental change...just as much as it is physical.   
Over time it has come to me that I don't have to hide anymore.  I am not anyone for my kids or husband to be embarrassed of. I don't have to be ashamed of the way I look.  I can pretty much do anything I decide I'd like to do.  I still continually amaze myself.  A compliment is still a hard thing to take..but I get them.  It has taken years to come this far...but I am starting to see a change.  I am starting to see a normal person.  I am starting to be proud of myself and feel like it's okay to be proud of what I've accomplished.  I've completed a half marathon...actually many half marathons.  I've ran 18 miles!!  I have climbed a volcanic crater in HAWAII.  I have kayaked for miles.  I've snorkeled for hours and hours and hours.  I've rejoiced at the appearance of a vein on my biceps.  I have trained my body to lift more than my own body weight.  I could go on and on.  I am a changed woman physically.  And mentally I am getting there as well.  

There are a few haters...and sadly some are family.  I'm moving on.  But mainly...mainly there are supporters.  I've surrounded myself with a family of like minded people.  They support me as I do them.  I've grown to love them fiercely.  And because of them, I'm learning to love myself....and I just might be half the badass they say I am....wink.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Raise Em Up

So, you meet someone
The only one
You take her by the hand
Make a stand
Buy some land
Make some love
And them babies come

Raise 'em up
Raise 'em up
Raise 'em up trophy high
Raise 'em up to the sky
Raise 'em up, show everybody that newborn smile
Raise 'em up tall and strong
Raise 'em up right from wrong
Raise 'em up so damn high they can hear God singing along

We had a great weekend celebrating Matt's 16th birthday with family. Spoiler alert.....there was no car.   We took him out to eat earlier in the week as a family...even though he claimed he didn't want to do anything.  It was a really nice to time.  It got a little hairy because of the crazy Texas storms. Thank goodness we had no storm damage this year.  Matt had to go do Driver's Ed early the morning of his party...and was SO EXCITED to get to drive for two hours......not.   My doctor has cleared me for running at my I headed on to the safety of the gym to do a 5k.  For a woman who was up to an 18 mile long run it wasn't as easy as I'd have liked it to be.  But, I quickly learned that it was just boredom...because the very next day I went out with my best gals and ran a 10k in the early morning hours.  My favorite time to run...when it's still dark and cool get to see the sun come up...everyone is still sleeping.  It can't be beat!

When we got home Saturday we had a paaaartaaaay.  Our favorite little man, Boy Wonder arrived.  And it was almost like we were celebrating him!  I cannot say enough wonderful things about him.  He is the apple of everyone's eye.  A little morsel of goodness...and we could just eat him up.... but he isn't in my macros....har har.

Speaking of macros....mine are working..the new ratio is working, along with a new lifting plan.  I have a friend that does macro planning for a living...and does a great job at it.  If anyone is interested let me know and I'll send you her way.  She has certainly guided me in the right direction. I normally cannot see minor changes.  A LOT of times I still see the same overweight gal I always was.  I'm starting to see a change.   My kids just roll their eyes...and I laugh....and flex again.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

I Am Nothing Without Love

I am nothing without love
I'm but a ship stuck in the sand
Some would say that I'm all alone
But I am, I'm nothing without love

I wanna hold her in my arms
But she feelin' low, she feelin' sad
I would take credit for what's wrong
But I am, I'm nothing without love

On this day 16 years ago, after going through 2 years of infertility I finally gave birth to my Gift of God....Matthew.  He was more than I ever imagined.  I immediately began to cry tears of joy and didn't stop for hours after.  I couldn't believe that a child that beautiful and perfect was mine.  If you were remember the tears.  I kept saying, "Nothing is wrong, I'm just happy."  The immense love I...WE felt for our boy was overwhelming.  And that love is still just as IMMENSE.  We LOVE YOU MASSIVELY WITH ALL OF OUR BEING.  Now please let's push pause on the growing up.

Sixteen, wasn't my little brother just 16?  How is Matt Jr. 16 and learning to drive?  I was just feeding him M&Ms and going to get him from his crib to sleep in our bed.  We couldn't stand to be apart from him.  Matt at 16.....I never knew what this was going to be like.  But, he is an amazing kid.  As smart as they come..we could work on chores part...but I believe that goes along with the teenager thing.  His siblings look up to him.  He doesn't get into any trouble....away from the house.  What more could we ask for.....other than the chores part.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Life Goes On

Once again I've been horrible about posting...because well..I've been a busy busy chica.  The kids have so much going on right now.  I'm having a fantastic time at the gym and with my friends.  Who has time to sit down and type?  I did have an MRI on both of my knees and I will get the results Friday....but my raggedy knees aren't slowing me down.  I've just adjusted my sails and moved on.  Matt is going to be 16 this week, a little over a month of school left, almost time for Boy Wonder's 1st Birthday, and vacation on a secluded island.  I'm just blessed!

This is for my girl who loves to duck face the camera all day long....bwahaha.

Ah yes, there it is.

Big changes..... I've started avidly tracking my macros and playing with carb cycling.  Amazing how quickly you can see changes.   I've started a new 12 week lifting program and I'm excited to see the results.  I'm hoping for big changes

Working on my deadlift..160lbs.  The goal is to get to 200.

The suit
 My short term goal is to be able to wear this stupid suit on the beach this summer.  I don't know yet if that's going to happen!

Saturday, March 21, 2015

You May Be Right

Friday night I crashed your party
Saturday I said I'm sorry
Sunday came and trashed me out again
I was only having fun
Wasn't hurting anyone
And we all enjoyed the weekend for a change

I've been stranded in the combat zone
I walked through Bedford Stuy alone
Even rode my motorcycle in the rain
And you told me not to drive
But I made it home alive
So you said that only proves that I'm insane

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don't try to save me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

My blogging has been sporadic as of late.  I've been usual.  Taxiing kids here and there, running a household, and doing my own thing.  My sweet little nephew has been in town that has been most awesome.  

  This dashing little man is cruising everywhere and is unafraid!!  My favorite thing he does is that he repeatedly says, "Heeeey" in the sweetest baby voice ever.  He is very smart and I am absolutely certain he gets that from his Aunt Mandy although I'm sure my brother would say otherwise.

Stahp, just stahp!

This crazy chick has been running track and her Momma and Daddy are so proud of her. I love that she keeps going.    She is an amazing person...  Sometimes ..ok most of the time I don't know how I got so lucky to have a kid as great as her.  All those screaming toddler years I guess!!

I am going back to the orthopedic surgeon, because my knees are not better.  Surgery is the likely treatment for my Chondromalacia patellae.  I'm at peace with it, I kinda have to be...if I want to run again.  I just have my fingers crossed that I can do upper body while I'm in recovery.  I have been lifting with incline walking six days a week...and it is paying off.  I can see changes.

Last March....when I wasn't lifting as often.  Same flex, less gains...different Jeep.

And this was at about a BMI of 45...Morbidly obese.

I  flex all the time now, and post all these pictures on social media.... My kids see them, my friends see them, and my family see them.  I hope that it will encourage and motivate people and not annoy or offend anyone.  I always say if I can do this anyone can...and I TRULY mean that.  And if it does offend or annoy people..I feel that's just too damned bad. I don't need you in my life.  I am trying to be a positive healthy role model for my kids.  I won't have them going down the unhealthy path that I did.  There are haters out there..and then I have my best girls...I usually meet up with them at the gym daily!

Monday, March 2, 2015

Snow Days, Surgery, and The Crazy

The past two weeks have been CRAZY.... And I do mean crazy.  Not one but two kids have had emergency appendectomies less than two weeks apart.  Color me astonished.  Never say never.  Both Matt and Nick are recovering.  Nick is still home as his was just performed Saturday.  
Our first lucky emergency appendectomy recipient 

Our second emergency appendectomy recipient

Meanwhile, during all this medical emergency business.  This kid still somehow managed to obtain his Learner's License.  Eeeeek!

We have also had some CRAZY Texas weather.  Ice and then some "real" snow!!  

The kiddos have enjoyed their Snow Days and it was nice to have real snow.  It was not so nice being stranded away from the gym!!
They always manage to keep it interesting!